Friday, August 10, 2007

Mouse

It is a little-known fact that in 1958 Mickey Mouse took Minnie Mouse 
to court to file for divorce. When the judge asked the All-American 
rodent why, after so many years of wedded bliss, he wished to end the 
marriage, Mickey replied: "She's fucking Goofy! And that's not all. 
Minnie has been banging the other animated characters all over town. 
She'll strip for any comic strip star that comes along! She's been 
Scrooged by McDuck, peckered by Woody, and buggered by Bugs! You want 
to know what's green and smells like a rat's crotch? The answer is 
Kermit the Frog's face. I know because he's been hopping my wife for 
years! She's also been sitting on that nosy splinterhead Pinocchio's 
face, and you know what she says to him? 'Lie to me, Pinocchio, lie! 
Now tell the truth! Now lie to me! Now tell the truth!'" How did 
Mickey uncover all this dirt? Because he found a secret journal that 
Minnie kept over the years, and he read it all. The title: "Diary of 
a Had Mousewife." (Richard Lederer)

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